Finally Flushed

by Smokin' D

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03:46
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03:15
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02:05
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credits

released June 9, 2017

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Smokin' D Hickory, North Carolina

Smokin' D is a unique underground cult musician with a rugged "thumb and strum" guitar style, inspired by bands like Devil Makes Three, Shakey Graves, Pokey Lafarge, Johnny Cash, and many more. Smokin' D sings real songs about real people and things. If you want love songs, look elsewhere. ... more

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Track Name: G-Town
You can pick up a ho on the way to work in G-Town
You can pick up some crack on the way to church in G-Town

Backwards ways in a modern time
Our number one business is our crime in G-Town
Doing the crime and doing the time aint the only way you're gonna waste your life in G-Town

No matter where you live, no matter where you go
You'll meet a killer and that's for sure in G-Town
Big ass rims on junk ass cars
Latino clubs and redneck bars in G-Town

Backwards ways in a modern time
Our number one business is our crime in G-Town
Doing the crime and doing the time aint the only way you're gonna waste your life in G-Town

Everyone's got pills, everyone smokes grass in G-Town
Tight little jeans on a big ol' ass in G-Town

Backwards ways in a modern time
Our number one business is our crime in G-Town
Doing the crime and doing the time aint the only way you're gonna waste your life in G-Town
Track Name: Road Kill Blues
There was a raccoon, walkin’ through the forest
Looking for a new place to call home
And there was a semi driving down I-40
Just then that raccoon tried to cross the road

And now there’s nothing he can do
It’s the end of the road for that raccoon
His life has come and gone and now it's through
He’s got the road kill blues

There was a possum, lookin’ for some lovin’
He was man in need indeed
Instead of getting’ something, he’ll be getting nothing
He screwed up when he tried to cross the street

And now there’s nothing he can do
Playing possum aint gonna pull him through
Billy Bob gonna make some possum stew
He’s got the road kill blues

There was a tom cat, struttin’ around town
He saw a mouse and a chase began
The mouse got away, nowhere to be found
The cat was hit by an Astro mini-van

AND NOW THERE’S NOTHING HE CAN DO
HE’S DEAD AND HIS NINE LIVES ARE THROUGH
THAT CAT HAS NOW BECOME VULTURE FOOD
HE’S GOT THE ROAD KILL BLUES

There was this squirrel, gatherin’ nuts
He’d cross the street every chance he could
The last time he crossed, there were blood and guts
Now those nuts won’t do him any good

AND NOW THERE’S NOTHING HE CAN DO
HE LIVED LIFE IN THE FAST LAND AND HE KNEW
ANOTHER SQUIRREL GONNA GET ALL HIS LOOT
HE’S GOT THE ROAD KILL BLUES
Track Name: Wiping Dilemma
Here I sit all alone, doing my thing on the throne
The wife and kids are not home, and something is terribly wrong
The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on

The rags are just out of reach, how will I clean these cheeks
No one can hear me scream, why can’t this just be a dream
The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on

The scent in here is so strong, I’ll probably be dead by dawn
It seems I’ve been here so long, How could I have been so wrong
The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on

There’s an old maxi pad in the trash, or a lid to some cream for a rash
My options are now very few, I’m wondering what I should do
The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on

A toothbrush, a shoe, or a comb. I wish my wife would get home
My undies, my socks, or my hand. I really don’t like this plan
The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on
Track Name: We've Pissed Off The Neighbors Again
Our grass is twelve inches long
The chickens are out of their pen
The kid’s toys are scattered all across the lawn
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

We had a big party last night
We invited all of our friends
By the time we got through, it was 4 AM
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

Our neighbors painted their house
Our paintball fight was intense
It wouldn’t wash off despite our attempts
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

My wife and I had a big fight
We were yellin’ and cursin’ in sin
When the cops showed up, we pointed next door
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

Our neighbors bought a new car
A brand new Mercedes-Benz
My boy hit a homer right through the windshield
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

We let our four dogs out to pee
They all broke out of the fence
The all took big dumps in the lawn next door
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

Our neighbors moved out last week
Some new ones are moving in
We took them some wine, but it made ‘em real sick
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again

We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends
We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
Track Name: Damned If I Do
You’ve got to work more hours if you want to get more pay
So I’m working like a dog every day
But when that paycheck comes, I just can’t catch a break
The more I make, the more Uncle Sam will take

No matter if I will or if I won’t
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t

You’ve got to take those pills if you want to stop that pain
Or you can fix it all and smoke some Mary Jane
Well if I choose those pills, my organs all will fail
But that Mary Jane might land me up in jail

No matter if I will or if I won’t
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t

You’ve got to go and vote if you want to make things change
You’ve got to fight to break free from these chains
But no matter who I vote for, no matter what they claim
They’re all the same; they just don’t use their brains

No matter if I will or if I won’t
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
Track Name: Storm Of The South
There’s a big storm that’s headed our way
They’re calling for flurries and flakes
Drop what you’re doing right now
There’s chaos brewing down town

Better run to the store
Pick up milk and bread
Don’t get stuck without them
Or you may end up dead

Schools will shut down, businesses too
Kids stuck at home with nothing to do
Don’t go outside, there’s a half inch of snow
No one can function, there’s nowhere to go
The Storm of the South, is headed this way

There’s a big storm that’s headed this way
Tell your kids to go out and play
No we aint gonna do no work today
There’s a big storm headed our way

Road crews are spreading that salt
Traffic has come to a halt
Weathermen can’t get enough
No one will call their bluff

Better run to the store
And pick up a sled
Gotta keep those kids happy
And not filled with dread

Schools will shut down, businesses too
Kids stuck at home with nothing to do
Don’t go outside, there’s a half inch of snow
No one can function, there’s nowhere to go
The Storm of the South, is headed this way

There’s a big storm that’s headed this way
Tell your kids to go out and play
No we aint gonna do no work today
There’s a big storm headed our way

The big storm has come and gone
There’s a couple white flakes on my lawn
The kids are driving me mad
I think they’ve worn out my iPad

Better run to the store
And take this sled back
The storm has moved on
We survived the attack

Schools will shut down, businesses too
Kids stuck at home with nothing to do
Don’t go outside, there’s a half inch of snow
No one can function, there’s nowhere to go
The Storm of the South, is headed this way

There’s a big storm that’s headed this way
Tell your kids to go out and play
No we aint gonna do no work today
There’s a big storm headed our way
Track Name: Take A Drink
I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget
I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet
I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met
I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret

It’s early Friday morning, I get to work on time
I drank last night and the night before, I guess I’ll drink tonight
The hardest time of my life, is doing eight to five
There’s one sure way to end my day, and to make me feel alive

I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget
I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet
I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met
I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret

Some like meth and some like pills and some just smoke that weed
What’s right for them aint right for me, it just aint what I need
So while they’re bouncing off the walls, or laid back on their couch
I’ll pop that top and turn it up, to liquefy my doubts

I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget
I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet
I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met
I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret

I’ve held down many bar stools, been forced through many doors
I’ve been face up and I’ve been face down on a thousand hardwood floors
I’ve forgotten many good times, but remembered many more
It’s fine if you don’t like my ways, just maybe I don’t like yours

I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget
I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet
I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met
I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret
Track Name: He-She
Don't know her name, or if she's a girl
He's got a mullet on her that will make your toes curl
She's got a mustache and a nice set of tits
In the men's or women's bathroom he stands or she sits

Who the hell knows?
What could it be?
You say he, I say she
Could be a he-she
Tits and a wee-wee, what could it be?

Working at the Goodwill, sportin' that blue vest
Poppin' her gum and lookin' his best
Hair on her knuckles but his nails are painted
Got a glimpse of her chest hair and damn near fainted

Who the hell knows?
What could it be?
You say he, I say she
Could be a he-she
Tits and a wee-wee, what could it be?

He-she I love you, what you are I don't care
You're the girl-boy of my dreams, we'll make 'em stop and stare
You cook me breakfast and I'll shave your back
You have all the features, there is nothing that you lack

Who the hell knows?
What could it be?
You say he, I say she
Could be a he-she
Tits and a wee-wee, what could it be?
Track Name: Twisted Perception
MISINFORMATION RAMPANTLY AMUCK
MAKES YOU WANT TO SAY WHAT THE HECK
UNCERTAINLY CERTAIN OF THE FACTS
METAPHORICAL KNIFE STUCK IN YOUR BACK

AND YOU WON’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND
YOUR LIPS KEEP ON MOVING AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR HANDS
WON’T HEAR REASON, WON’T SEE PROOF
THE QUEST FOR COMMON SENSE HAS GONE ALOOF
TWISTED PERCEPTION OF THE TRUTH

TRANSMITTING ALL THESE THOUGHTS ONTO A SCREEN
MOST OF WHICH BY NO MEANS SHOULD BE SEEN
SOURCES HAVE BECOME IRRELEVANT
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SEE WITHOUT FURTHER EVIDENCE

AND YOU WON’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND
YOUR LIPS KEEP ON MOVING AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR HANDS
WON’T HEAR REASON, WON’T SEE PROOF
THE QUEST FOR COMMON SENSE HAS GONE ALOOF
TWISTED PERCEPTION OF THE TRUTH

UNFATHOMABLE IGNORANCE ABOUND
PROCLAIMING THAT IT’S UP WHEN IT’S DOWN
OVERSTATING UNDER-THINKING FOOLS
MISINTERPRETATION OF THE RULES

AND YOU WON’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND
YOUR LIPS KEEP ON MOVING AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR HANDS
WON’T HEAR REASON, WON’T SEE PROOF
THE QUEST FOR COMMON SENSE HAS GONE ALOOF
TWISTED PERCEPTION OF THE TRUTH

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