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Finally Flushed

by Smokin' D

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1.
G-Town 03:46
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You can pick up a ho on the way to work in G-Town You can pick up some crack on the way to church in G-Town Backwards ways in a modern time Our number one business is our crime in G-Town Doing the crime and doing the time aint the only way you're gonna waste your life in G-Town No matter where you live, no matter where you go You'll meet a killer and that's for sure in G-Town Big ass rims on junk ass cars Latino clubs and redneck bars in G-Town Backwards ways in a modern time Our number one business is our crime in G-Town Doing the crime and doing the time aint the only way you're gonna waste your life in G-Town Everyone's got pills, everyone smokes grass in G-Town Tight little jeans on a big ol' ass in G-Town Backwards ways in a modern time Our number one business is our crime in G-Town Doing the crime and doing the time aint the only way you're gonna waste your life in G-Town
2.
Road Kill Blues 03:00
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There was a raccoon, walkin’ through the forest Looking for a new place to call home And there was a semi driving down I-40 Just then that raccoon tried to cross the road And now there’s nothing he can do It’s the end of the road for that raccoon His life has come and gone and now it's through He’s got the road kill blues There was a possum, lookin’ for some lovin’ He was man in need indeed Instead of getting’ something, he’ll be getting nothing He screwed up when he tried to cross the street And now there’s nothing he can do Playing possum aint gonna pull him through Billy Bob gonna make some possum stew He’s got the road kill blues There was a tom cat, struttin’ around town He saw a mouse and a chase began The mouse got away, nowhere to be found The cat was hit by an Astro mini-van AND NOW THERE’S NOTHING HE CAN DO HE’S DEAD AND HIS NINE LIVES ARE THROUGH THAT CAT HAS NOW BECOME VULTURE FOOD HE’S GOT THE ROAD KILL BLUES There was this squirrel, gatherin’ nuts He’d cross the street every chance he could The last time he crossed, there were blood and guts Now those nuts won’t do him any good AND NOW THERE’S NOTHING HE CAN DO HE LIVED LIFE IN THE FAST LAND AND HE KNEW ANOTHER SQUIRREL GONNA GET ALL HIS LOOT HE’S GOT THE ROAD KILL BLUES
3.
Wiping Dilemma 05:21
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Here I sit all alone, doing my thing on the throne The wife and kids are not home, and something is terribly wrong The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on The rags are just out of reach, how will I clean these cheeks No one can hear me scream, why can’t this just be a dream The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on The scent in here is so strong, I’ll probably be dead by dawn It seems I’ve been here so long, How could I have been so wrong The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on There’s an old maxi pad in the trash, or a lid to some cream for a rash My options are now very few, I’m wondering what I should do The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on A toothbrush, a shoe, or a comb. I wish my wife would get home My undies, my socks, or my hand. I really don’t like this plan The toilet paper is gone, the wiping dilemma is on
4.
We've Pissed Off The Neighbors Again 04:20
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Our grass is twelve inches long The chickens are out of their pen The kid’s toys are scattered all across the lawn We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We had a big party last night We invited all of our friends By the time we got through, it was 4 AM We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends We’ve pissed off the neighbors again Our neighbors painted their house Our paintball fight was intense It wouldn’t wash off despite our attempts We’ve pissed off the neighbors again My wife and I had a big fight We were yellin’ and cursin’ in sin When the cops showed up, we pointed next door We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends We’ve pissed off the neighbors again Our neighbors bought a new car A brand new Mercedes-Benz My boy hit a homer right through the windshield We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We let our four dogs out to pee They all broke out of the fence The all took big dumps in the lawn next door We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends We’ve pissed off the neighbors again Our neighbors moved out last week Some new ones are moving in We took them some wine, but it made ‘em real sick We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again We’ve pissed off the neighbors again I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends We’ve pissed off the neighbors again
5.
Damned If I Do 02:54
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You’ve got to work more hours if you want to get more pay So I’m working like a dog every day But when that paycheck comes, I just can’t catch a break The more I make, the more Uncle Sam will take No matter if I will or if I won’t Damned if I do, damned if I don’t You’ve got to take those pills if you want to stop that pain Or you can fix it all and smoke some Mary Jane Well if I choose those pills, my organs all will fail But that Mary Jane might land me up in jail No matter if I will or if I won’t Damned if I do, damned if I don’t You’ve got to go and vote if you want to make things change You’ve got to fight to break free from these chains But no matter who I vote for, no matter what they claim They’re all the same; they just don’t use their brains No matter if I will or if I won’t Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
6.
Storm Of The South 05:41
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There’s a big storm that’s headed our way They’re calling for flurries and flakes Drop what you’re doing right now There’s chaos brewing down town Better run to the store Pick up milk and bread Don’t get stuck without them Or you may end up dead Schools will shut down, businesses too Kids stuck at home with nothing to do Don’t go outside, there’s a half inch of snow No one can function, there’s nowhere to go The Storm of the South, is headed this way There’s a big storm that’s headed this way Tell your kids to go out and play No we aint gonna do no work today There’s a big storm headed our way Road crews are spreading that salt Traffic has come to a halt Weathermen can’t get enough No one will call their bluff Better run to the store And pick up a sled Gotta keep those kids happy And not filled with dread Schools will shut down, businesses too Kids stuck at home with nothing to do Don’t go outside, there’s a half inch of snow No one can function, there’s nowhere to go The Storm of the South, is headed this way There’s a big storm that’s headed this way Tell your kids to go out and play No we aint gonna do no work today There’s a big storm headed our way The big storm has come and gone There’s a couple white flakes on my lawn The kids are driving me mad I think they’ve worn out my iPad Better run to the store And take this sled back The storm has moved on We survived the attack Schools will shut down, businesses too Kids stuck at home with nothing to do Don’t go outside, there’s a half inch of snow No one can function, there’s nowhere to go The Storm of the South, is headed this way There’s a big storm that’s headed this way Tell your kids to go out and play No we aint gonna do no work today There’s a big storm headed our way
7.
Take A Drink 03:15
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I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret It’s early Friday morning, I get to work on time I drank last night and the night before, I guess I’ll drink tonight The hardest time of my life, is doing eight to five There’s one sure way to end my day, and to make me feel alive I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret Some like meth and some like pills and some just smoke that weed What’s right for them aint right for me, it just aint what I need So while they’re bouncing off the walls, or laid back on their couch I’ll pop that top and turn it up, to liquefy my doubts I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret I’ve held down many bar stools, been forced through many doors I’ve been face up and I’ve been face down on a thousand hardwood floors I’ve forgotten many good times, but remembered many more It’s fine if you don’t like my ways, just maybe I don’t like yours I take a drink to remember, I take a drink to forget I take a drink for the good times that haven’t happened yet I take a drink for the fun I’ve had with all the friends I’ve met I take a drink for all the drinks I’ve had, and a drink for my regret
8.
He-She 02:05
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Don't know her name, or if she's a girl He's got a mullet on her that will make your toes curl She's got a mustache and a nice set of tits In the men's or women's bathroom he stands or she sits Who the hell knows? What could it be? You say he, I say she Could be a he-she Tits and a wee-wee, what could it be? Working at the Goodwill, sportin' that blue vest Poppin' her gum and lookin' his best Hair on her knuckles but his nails are painted Got a glimpse of her chest hair and damn near fainted Who the hell knows? What could it be? You say he, I say she Could be a he-she Tits and a wee-wee, what could it be? He-she I love you, what you are I don't care You're the girl-boy of my dreams, we'll make 'em stop and stare You cook me breakfast and I'll shave your back You have all the features, there is nothing that you lack Who the hell knows? What could it be? You say he, I say she Could be a he-she Tits and a wee-wee, what could it be?
9.
Good Old Fashioned Hangin' 04:08
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10.
Twisted Perception 03:26
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MISINFORMATION RAMPANTLY AMUCK MAKES YOU WANT TO SAY WHAT THE HECK UNCERTAINLY CERTAIN OF THE FACTS METAPHORICAL KNIFE STUCK IN YOUR BACK AND YOU WON’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR LIPS KEEP ON MOVING AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR HANDS WON’T HEAR REASON, WON’T SEE PROOF THE QUEST FOR COMMON SENSE HAS GONE ALOOF TWISTED PERCEPTION OF THE TRUTH TRANSMITTING ALL THESE THOUGHTS ONTO A SCREEN MOST OF WHICH BY NO MEANS SHOULD BE SEEN SOURCES HAVE BECOME IRRELEVANT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SEE WITHOUT FURTHER EVIDENCE AND YOU WON’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR LIPS KEEP ON MOVING AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR HANDS WON’T HEAR REASON, WON’T SEE PROOF THE QUEST FOR COMMON SENSE HAS GONE ALOOF TWISTED PERCEPTION OF THE TRUTH UNFATHOMABLE IGNORANCE ABOUND PROCLAIMING THAT IT’S UP WHEN IT’S DOWN OVERSTATING UNDER-THINKING FOOLS MISINTERPRETATION OF THE RULES AND YOU WON’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR LIPS KEEP ON MOVING AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR HANDS WON’T HEAR REASON, WON’T SEE PROOF THE QUEST FOR COMMON SENSE HAS GONE ALOOF TWISTED PERCEPTION OF THE TRUTH

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released June 9, 2017

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Smokin' D Hickory, North Carolina

Smokin' D is a unique underground cult musician with a rugged "thumb and strum" guitar style, inspired by bands like Devil Makes Three, Shakey Graves, Pokey Lafarge, Johnny Cash, and many more. Smokin' D sings real songs about real people and things. If you want love songs, look elsewhere. ... more

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